Solomania...

In the last week I’ve seen a Federal politician refer to a tattoo just above his nipple to remember his parliamentary number. I’ve been told by a Federal candidate in her chook shed that ‘sometimes the kids call Mister Turkey Mister Gobble because he gobbles a lot.’ And I’ve listened to the One Nation candidate make a concluding comment at a community forum: ‘So, yeah, I guess I’m for like progress.’

Welcome to Darwin and the seat of Solomon where between midgie bites and funding announcements it’s been a tumultuous election campaign so far.

Labor incumbent Damien Hale’s promise of a massive $1.5 million for a local BMX track upgrade was met with the kind of grit and tenacity you’d expect from a hardened Territorian foe. Country Liberal Party candidate Natasha Griggs announced days later that the CLP would not only match the Labor BMX commitment, but go one better. If the CLP is elected in the seat of Solomon, she said she will secure a recently-decommissioned Caribou transport aircraft for Darwin's Aviation Museum: There was dancing in the streets.

Affordable housing and infrastructure have figured prominently throughout the campaign. Griggs has said she will excise 395 homes from defence land and make them available to the general public if elected, while Hale has promised 1200 new ‘affordable’ homes.

But most constituents are angry at the parochial dribble of policy announcements that have characterised the campaign here. Ask anyone who they think will win, and the most common response is ‘I couldn’t give a tinker’s cuss.’

Actually, they say ‘I couldn’t give a tinker’s cuss and I don’t BMX.’

Given the level of public engagement, the Territory’s only newspaper hasn’t done much to stimulate debate.

Just last week the News Limited owned NT News was slapped on the wrist by Media Watch for publishing a ‘recent’ photograph of a – you guessed it – gigantic crocodile, which was actually taken about 15 years ago. Unfortunately the crocodile died before the reporter could ask it how it intended to vote in 1996.

They have also introduced a weekly two-page Andrew Bolt spread – with no answering column from anybody holding even mildly divergent views. I know it’s a hard act to balance opinion during an election campaign, but we all know Bolt doesn’t just tip the scales; he breaks them – even if he’s holding onto the towel rack.

The lack of diversity in both policy and in publication in the seat of Solomon is a serious problem, given the diversity of its constituents. Over 10 per cent of its voters are indigenous Australians, compared with a national average of 2.3 per cent, yet no policies have been announced addressing the Intervention. There is a chronic housing shortage, but the focus is on affordable housing, not homelessness. And huge emphasis has been placed on ‘law and order’ even though policing is the prerogative of the state, unless you live at the airport.

Brief inquiry in many electorates will inform you that most voters feel like this election means the choice between a poop sandwich and poop on toast. I foresee many of them rather than gracefully casting their vote, exhibiting more of a chucking or tossing action, and this will certainly be the case in Solomon.

Yet while this may be, I can faithfully report that taxi driver wisdom has Labor ahead in this electorate. He might be tossed there, but footy-coach-come-Labor-Lad Damien Hale will probably spend another term as the most ejected member of Parliament.